woman with a thousand faces,
you put on lipstick and kiss
the ear of boxes filled with notes
on how to BE.
hold umbrellas to the clouds
that rain cycles of truth,
shower water on the dead
spines of skeletons
hidden in your closet.
come out like re-birth
into the wringing arms
of earth; we can embrace.
i want to hold you
at your core
a larval child.
above is the same as below;
lightning daggers upon your head;
and men in heavy sleeves
wait to lead you down
beetle black stairs.
run
the path within
and hide
naked
in the fabric
of your being.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Womenstual Cycle
we go through cycles of rebirth
cleaning our walls like new year
the collective sadness
flows from the fountain
and we flush it away....
we, women, carry burden
and birth in our wombs.
cleaning our walls like new year
the collective sadness
flows from the fountain
and we flush it away....
we, women, carry burden
and birth in our wombs.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fall Spices
Cooked lunches for the week:
Indian Curry and Tikka Masala
And topped it off with
Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake
and Chai Latte.
Indian Curry and Tikka Masala
And topped it off with
Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake
and Chai Latte.
Weekend Wrap-Ups
Caution: Long Post
Thursday: Hot Umbrella Nights. Got perfectly tipsy and surrounded by beatuiful CCC people. Seriously it's the best clubbingn ight for me because so many of my friends are there and we can talk openly about whatever and get crunk! Critical people can get down :)! Also, RC was there and my friends are such wonderful cockblocks.
Friday: Aftershock. So I wanted to go to Shocktoberfest to watch RC perform. Div was supposed to go with me but he couldn't because he was having his date with his significant partner. Part of my healing process has been trying to overcome or see through my loneliness. My therapist suggested that I find a friend who I can count on to call and support me through these times. I called Mikhal and it was perfect timing because he was feeling down too. We talked it out and I got over the fact that I wasn't going to se RC, and realized that I shouldn't even be sprung over him if he ain't gonna be sprung over me. So in the end, I went to Aftershock which I never went to before. No lie, I felt awkward being sober around all these freshmen who were more drunk than I was but it brought me back to the Spop days when we would have good ol' sober dance parties! In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed the music. DJ Miles hooked it up with some fabulous electronica! Div and I were thoroughly exhausted and sweating balls and felt satisifed with our last Aftershock ever in the history of our college career. On a nostalgic high, we revisited the Del Taco on Campus and got chugged medium rootbeers, then headed over to VDC for a house party. Lol what are the odds that at the hous party, I would re-run into Kirk Nakamoto and this guy from Sussex. All in VDC! What a great night!
Saturday-Sunday: FMLR 2009. WOW. Best time of my life. It brought me back to my purpose to the present. There were no cliques. Everyone was open, and though some people said some things that were controversial, people remained honest. Ale, Kevin and I have been planning FMLR for a while now. I'm glad all the workshops went successfully and that was partly due to the group we had. People weren't afraid to share, weren't afraid to challenge each other, and weren't afraid to share their stories.
More importantly, we all had fun. My cultural dance was belly dancing. Kristen, Anthony, Cedric, Melyssa, Marjory, Dalia, and I transformed into TEAM SEXY and laughed our way onto the stage, holding in our bladders, and shook our hips as if they couldn't tell lies! It was magical! We learned to salsa, meringue, barracha, and had a fabulous party.
King's cup, story telling, critical dialogue, and then finally people were starting to leave by 2 AM. By the end of the night, only a group of us remained and it was by far the highlight of the day. Ale, Vileana, Shacole, Carlos, Matt, Kenny, and I went around the circle telling each other our lives in 30 second intervals. It was like watching TV series and all of us were honest. Fucking amazing. It was like roll talks but on natural highs. Depth. And we ended on positive notes, each one of us being affirmed by all the others. Each one of us engaged. Yes!
Sunday morning we had two more workshops. Privilege walk was ridiculous. I've done this a million times, facilitated a million times, and most of the times I would end up all the way in the back of the room, having many disadvantages in my life. I was aware of this, being used to letting go of others hands, desensitizing myself to the
privileges my friends had. For the first time, I was holding someone's hand at the end of the workshop. Edi, my fellow WOC. She and I are complete opposites, but at the end of the day, she was still holding my hand, helping a WOC out and that to me, was more than I could ever ask for.
Lastly, our values that we chose were: Love, Integrity, Freedom, Personal Development, and Diversity. 3 out of the 5 were in my original list. It's so funny because when the interns first did this we only got 3 out of 5. Out of those 3, I had 0 of my original values on the list. Now that we know how to go through the workshop, we knew what we wanted to get out of it and we got what we wanted. It's definitely about voicing yourself, which is a challenge for me because I don't like imposing on others. My horoscope definitely told me that this year was about sharing my ideas and seeing them in action.
Monday: Kula. Bana texted me and told me that she will prioritize me over anything. I feel the same way. Love DTR even when only half of us are together.
Lesson: Learned. I have learned about others and they have learned about me. Together we are not lonely. I love you all.
Thursday: Hot Umbrella Nights. Got perfectly tipsy and surrounded by beatuiful CCC people. Seriously it's the best clubbingn ight for me because so many of my friends are there and we can talk openly about whatever and get crunk! Critical people can get down :)! Also, RC was there and my friends are such wonderful cockblocks.
Friday: Aftershock. So I wanted to go to Shocktoberfest to watch RC perform. Div was supposed to go with me but he couldn't because he was having his date with his significant partner. Part of my healing process has been trying to overcome or see through my loneliness. My therapist suggested that I find a friend who I can count on to call and support me through these times. I called Mikhal and it was perfect timing because he was feeling down too. We talked it out and I got over the fact that I wasn't going to se RC, and realized that I shouldn't even be sprung over him if he ain't gonna be sprung over me. So in the end, I went to Aftershock which I never went to before. No lie, I felt awkward being sober around all these freshmen who were more drunk than I was but it brought me back to the Spop days when we would have good ol' sober dance parties! In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed the music. DJ Miles hooked it up with some fabulous electronica! Div and I were thoroughly exhausted and sweating balls and felt satisifed with our last Aftershock ever in the history of our college career. On a nostalgic high, we revisited the Del Taco on Campus and got chugged medium rootbeers, then headed over to VDC for a house party. Lol what are the odds that at the hous party, I would re-run into Kirk Nakamoto and this guy from Sussex. All in VDC! What a great night!
Saturday-Sunday: FMLR 2009. WOW. Best time of my life. It brought me back to my purpose to the present. There were no cliques. Everyone was open, and though some people said some things that were controversial, people remained honest. Ale, Kevin and I have been planning FMLR for a while now. I'm glad all the workshops went successfully and that was partly due to the group we had. People weren't afraid to share, weren't afraid to challenge each other, and weren't afraid to share their stories.
More importantly, we all had fun. My cultural dance was belly dancing. Kristen, Anthony, Cedric, Melyssa, Marjory, Dalia, and I transformed into TEAM SEXY and laughed our way onto the stage, holding in our bladders, and shook our hips as if they couldn't tell lies! It was magical! We learned to salsa, meringue, barracha, and had a fabulous party.
King's cup, story telling, critical dialogue, and then finally people were starting to leave by 2 AM. By the end of the night, only a group of us remained and it was by far the highlight of the day. Ale, Vileana, Shacole, Carlos, Matt, Kenny, and I went around the circle telling each other our lives in 30 second intervals. It was like watching TV series and all of us were honest. Fucking amazing. It was like roll talks but on natural highs. Depth. And we ended on positive notes, each one of us being affirmed by all the others. Each one of us engaged. Yes!
Sunday morning we had two more workshops. Privilege walk was ridiculous. I've done this a million times, facilitated a million times, and most of the times I would end up all the way in the back of the room, having many disadvantages in my life. I was aware of this, being used to letting go of others hands, desensitizing myself to the
privileges my friends had. For the first time, I was holding someone's hand at the end of the workshop. Edi, my fellow WOC. She and I are complete opposites, but at the end of the day, she was still holding my hand, helping a WOC out and that to me, was more than I could ever ask for.
Lastly, our values that we chose were: Love, Integrity, Freedom, Personal Development, and Diversity. 3 out of the 5 were in my original list. It's so funny because when the interns first did this we only got 3 out of 5. Out of those 3, I had 0 of my original values on the list. Now that we know how to go through the workshop, we knew what we wanted to get out of it and we got what we wanted. It's definitely about voicing yourself, which is a challenge for me because I don't like imposing on others. My horoscope definitely told me that this year was about sharing my ideas and seeing them in action.
Monday: Kula. Bana texted me and told me that she will prioritize me over anything. I feel the same way. Love DTR even when only half of us are together.
Lesson: Learned. I have learned about others and they have learned about me. Together we are not lonely. I love you all.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Stop This Train
this describes my life right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e1FHJkVoFE&NR=1
No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"
"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"
Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train
No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"
"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"
Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train
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