YES ENERGY!

Try saying this as loud as you can: YES! YES! YES!

Hopefully you did.

Why? Because the word YES opens up the flow! Your body starts circulating with more energy and blood! It's magnificent!

All people are born with a ball of energy. However, as we go through the world, traumas and negative energy stifles this joyful bubble. This bubble of energy is LIFE! And despite the bad things we may do, I believe that deep down inside, there is a dormant ball of positive energy, radical energy, potential energy that could move mountains!

YEEEEES!

I am thrilled to have talked to Val today. We talked about this energy and how this energy (power of belief, etc) helps gravitate people like you toward you. Or certain situations happen more frequently. It's like thinking about a number, and every day you see that same number. Or it's like all you feel is sad, and all these sad situations perpetuate the same feeling of sadness. Calvin and I are both in a healing process right now, with our selves as individuals, as friends, and as a couple. Since Calvin's departure, I have gotten to talk to some of the residents here, and most of them are also in a healing process, in a transitional process.

For example, a girl named Tess from New Zealand had a snowboarding injury, and she needed to get away so that he leg can heal. There's a man named Igor who used to be a Caberet dancer in his home country, Spain. He left Spain because he no longer wanted to dance. However, he watches videos of himself to relieve that same energy and spirit. Couples like Lorenzo and Kendra are inbetween countries, on their way to get married. Most others are looking for flats or jobs. Even the name Baggies is important. Reference: Erykah Badu-Bag Lady http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRZ2s_VMffQ We're all here to let go some of our bags, and keep going through life with some other bags.

This healing process is supposed to revitalize and refresh your mind, body, and soul. You may not be fully recovered or fully satisified, but it's a good place to get you on the path to full recovery. We compare this to conventional Western medicine and alternative medicines for cancer. Chemotherapy radiates out the cancer and also hurts some good cells in the process. However, Native American and Chinese medicines help restore and enhance the immune system so it will naturally heal faster. Alternative medicines, homoeotherapy, help the body rather than harm it. http://www.wddty.com/SearchResults.aspx?q=cold+sores

So how can we also help our body? By releasing our natural core energy! The YES YES YES energy! We also related this to relationhips. It's tragic seeing partners trying to change their significant other. In room 15, the lovers room, a quote reads: Life is a mirror: we love in others what we love in ourselves, and we hate in others what we hate in ourselves. It is much easier to nag at another person to change rather than change ourselves. That shows how insecure we are about ourself. We don't want to deal with the self, the I. However, we must remember why we love those people in the first place.

Granted, communication and effort must be put into a relationship and there must be an effort for some change and growth. I think that may have been my biggest disappointment in SPOP returners. I had too many expectations for immediate change and it seemed as though the returners did not want to put an effort to grow or change. I also forgot the initial qualities of the people who make the team. I was too idealistic, too romantic. I thought too much about the team rather than about myself. I also forgot who I was. Val said, "You shouldn't sit down for a cup of tea with someone and share only one cup." Which is true. There can be the interaction, but the interaction of two individuals. You can't forget the energy of yourself. I forgot myself and needed to go home to find Diana Phuong.

I think that's why I was so lost when Calvin left. Yes because I miss him and love his company, but also I lost the pleasure of having my own company, or the company of others. I felt so unmotivated and unfocused. I didn't know what to do next. I felt like I was stalling for time until something better came along. But that is not utilizing my energy to its fullest.

Winnie the Pooh was talking to Piglet. People in town were getting washing machines so they could save time doing laundry. Pooh says to piglet,"Well Piglet, you and I know that you can't save time, you can only spend time."

And I hope you all are spending your time saying YES to new things no matter where you are! Try to challenge yourself to do at least one new thing for the FIRST time. Even if it's something small like trying out a new recipe, or putting on a top you would normally never pick out. These small things can hopefully pick up momentum and you can do it biiig!

A Jedi Proverb: You can do or do not. There is no cry.

If you choose to do, then do with love and life.

If you choose not, then you have chosen a powerful energy. The power of hate. Hate the injustices in life. Hate the corrupt. Hate can move mountains farther than love.

I am saying YES to life in the here and now, reacting to all its challenges and all its joys when they come to me. Don't meet trouble half way; meet it when it is right in front of you! Hopefully you are all saying yes too! That way, we are loving deeper, and living more fully!

YES! YES! YES!

Day 4+5+6: Grab a Seagull by its Legs and FLY

We woke up dreading the last day for Mr. Calvin Chu. This was the day we dreaded the most.

We got breakfast at the Cafe Royal. Delicioso! But eating that every day may give me a heart attack! Eggs, really salty bacon, sausage, beans, and toast. YUUUUMMY!

We walked around this festival in the streets. It was a car-free Sunday! There's always something going on in Brighton. This festival was like a Solano Stroll street festival. It was a good walk then we got to the Brighton pier. There is something soothing and drawing about the water.

Calvin skipped stones and I watched. We watched the sunset and it was the longest sunset we've ever watched because there were no mountains blocking the sun. This old man with a metal detector scaling the beach turned and looked at us, and said "Grab a seagull by its legs and fly." That's what risk is in love and in life: with all doubt, there must be hope. you can't fail if you have gone above and beyond, trying to soar.

We went to Bankers for dinner and ordered some expectedly yummy food. Haddock and Salmon. I'm pety sure we weren't drunk but we bumbled around with food coma back to baggies.

We got hooked up in a double room by Val because it was his last night here. This room is a room of love! Seriously! There were quotes on the walls fom lovers. There were rocks from the beach on the desk table and the window sills with names and dates of couples who stayed in the room. Messages of love. Calvin and I wanted to put our own message in there, but we fell asleep with the big day ahead.

Calvin Chu misguided the time. We got up at 3:30 AM, but we figured it'd be good to pack and get our lives together so we don't have to rush later. However, he lost his dress pants. He was flying business class and dressing up was a requirement. Therefore he couldn't leave.

At first I was a bit like, "Are you serious?" because I was emotional, tired, and didn't want to impede on Val's schedule. I stayed positive, saying how I get another day with him. Calvin soothed my wrinkled brow. We laid in bed and talked about family, marriage, children, our lives before and after. "You can't change the story of the past, but you can change the story of the future"-calvin chu. Word.

There was a reason why he lost his dress pants. He and I believed it but wasn't sure what it was. We slept and woke up to tell Val we were here together for another day. Two tasks for the day: Buy dress pants, and buy a coach ticket for his flight.

We started off toward the same cafe. He ordered Chili Con Carne with Basmati rice and I ordered the same breakfast. Yum.

We went shopping and found him some trousers for 2 pounds! It's a company that recycles clothes or something. Traid i think it's called. Everything in the store is 2 pounds. Mission complete.

We went to the coach station and bought him a ticket. Mission 2 complete. So after finishing both those tasks, it was like 1 PM and I realized that when we have only a couple of tasks for the day, there's so much more time to just chill!!!!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! For so long I kept packing my schedul, especially because I had a car. I'd be here one minute and there te next. I never chilled. If i learned anything from Calvin it was to chill the fuck out and just be. People aren't born frantic, yadidimean?

Anyhow, we went to the beach and threw rocks into the ocean! I joined in this time. It was so satisfying. Calvin said that there's something truly satisfying when you do that and I'd have to agree. You've got to try it some time if you can. Anothe thing to try is the ice cream cones in the UK with chocolate flake. It's so delicious. It tastes completely different than soft-serve frozen yogurt from the US.

We came home and got some food from Taj. I've never eaten these things before. Calvin thought I wasn't enjoying the lamb rice, or the chicken curry, but I really was. I wasn't too fond of the samosas or the shesh kebab but I voiced that. After dinner, we just chilled with some of the older folks, got sleepy and went to bed.

This morning, we woke, we loved, we packed, and we walked to the coach station. I didn't want him to miss his bus because he does have a life outside of me. As we stood outside the coach, stalling for time, we held each other. I lookd up teary eyed, and as I did, Calvin's tear fell into my eye! I mean, talk about catching his tears! Being a goober, I tell a joke: What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing. It just waved. Yahk Yahk Yahk!

He hopped onto the coach and I looked out the window at me on the sidwalk. We blew kisses, made hearts with our hands, hugged with our fingers, and the coach drove away. His hands in the shape of a heart stayed on the window until he rounded the corner. I cried with my hands in the air also in the shape of a heart.

I'm not sure what this post is about. I'm not supposed to know, but I do know that I'm sitting in the common room listening to Val talk about marriage to a young couple and stream of consciousness and deja vu. I am far away listening. I am going to participate until I cannot any longer and then I will come back to you all.

To the love of my life: Until we meet again. Cheers to the summer of love 2008! Cheers to the next time we fly! I love you.

Total Eclipse of My Heart

I woke up from a conversation happening in the living room of baggies. It was interesting listening in on what people were saying. There was an older woman out there, talking to a couple of girls. Calvin talked to her earlier about drugs and stream of consciousness earlier when I was napping. Calvin’s sleeping now and I listened trying to figure who she was. I thought, and said aloud, “I wonder if she’s a psychologist.” I said that because she was analyzing one of the couples in the house. I immediately felt a sting in my chest for placing a label on her, rather than accepting that she was a part of the community. I labeled her and judged her. Interestingly enough, she was talking about judgments at that particular moment. She said that gossip and those who listen in on those who are gossiping could place judgment on those who are talking.

I was thinking about participation and how I’ve always been a wallflower. I sleep at times of the day when most are awake and I write in the silence of the world. I wonder if that is the reason why I am so judgmental. I only speculate about the world rather than interact with it. I eavesdrop, people watch, and make assertions that I have no real data about.

I also wonder if my sexual activity in life has been the only way for me to have a voice. I’m actually a very shy person, but I can be, have been trained to be, a socialite. Often times I don’t get the attention and try to lure it by making myself physically visible and known. I wanted people to know my insecurities. I wanted them to know that I am vulnerable by wearing less clothes, or by seeming elitist in some way. However, I see that it is far more attractive for a female to be more conservative about her body because she cares about herself and her body. The “flaunt it if you’ve got it” has come from bad day time talk show TV like Maury and Montel. I’ve been on this journey trying to discover who I am.

I feel that people are blank slates, written by the environment that surrounds them, reacting to those environments. For example, a pair of twins has an alcoholic father. One of the twins turns out to be just like dad, a total alcoholic, and the other turns out to be nothing like his father, vowing never to ingest alcohol.

I’ve reacted very much to the absence and presence of my parents in my life. My father used to watch Howard Stern, and E!, and Chuckie before I would go to bed at night. This was his “tucking in” process. He would sit by my bed until I fell asleep but I would watch TV with him. No American dream, father reading to child bullshit. Anyone who knows me, knows about my paranoia probably from Chuckie, my curiosity in sexual information probably on Howard Stern, and my knowledge of the outside world is probably from E! I mean, I am very much a product of the television I watched as a child. I spent time with my grandmother and by myself. My grandmother taught me a lot about these wise lessons which I understood, but didn’t recognize as life until now in my adult years. I was a very quiet child. I never spent time with friends outside of school or had slumber parties or anything like that because my mother worried about me. I think I lacked my mother until about junior year in high school, when I finally shared myself with her:

It was prom night and I was going out with a guy named Robbie, who lived in San Francisco/San Mateo. After prom with Alex, I rushed to see Robbie. My mother kept calling me and I ignored every single call until about 5 in the morning, when my older sister called and told me to come home. I was god awful tired because it was late and because I had a long drive ahead. I got home and the entire family was awake, my father hit me while I was crawling into bed, calling me a “chicken” and swearing at me. My mother looked on, but also pulling him away. I had vowed when I was young to leave the house if ever he hit me again, and so I was ready to leave, crying, angry, tired, and feeling justified.

My mother followed me into the garage where we sat and yelled and talked for a couple of hours. I told her I didn’t want to live any more. I told her to kill me. She said, “Why would I do such a thing? If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done that a long time ago.” I told her about my plans in life and I felt very hopeless. I yelled at her, screaming at her to tell me she loved me. She didn’t. I laid on my back, in sweatpants, and exhausted. Finally, she came up to me and grabbed my hand and told me she loved me. I got up and went for a walk, my brother following me. I was in tears walking up Moeser, but I eventually went home and slept. The day went as though nothing had happened but something in the dynamic of the relationships changed in that house.

I remember in my first year of college, watching a film about the LA riots. A mother was interviewed because her son was shot by one of the grocery store owners. She said that she sat waiting for him, praying that he would return. I kept crying, thinking how my mother stayed up for me every single night when I was in high school, not knowing where I was or what I was doing. As much as I wanted my mother to be a part of my life, I kept the door closed between us like I do with many of you all, yet I worry and wait for those who are ready and for those who aren’t ready to have me in their lives. I think it’s no one’s fault. It’s just the way it is.
It still is hard for me to open up with people because of the abandonment issues I have and the insecurities I have, and the reactions I continue to take because I’m afraid of heartbreak. I think the reason why I was so happy with Calvin in 8th grade and with life was because I was being. Calvin saw me at such an important time in my life because I felt like I was me—crazy, happy, and satisfied. It’s easy for me to be me at all times with Calvin. But I don’t want to miss out on all my friends who also care and love me because I don’t want to end up like my parents. I want to be able to keep those connections because they are important to me. That is why I am writing this. So you all can know me rather than guess who I am. So I can know me, so I can stop trying to figure out who I am and just be satisfied with myself. Like I’ve heard and continually repeat, “You are your own worst critic.”

However, I think within our selves, myself at least, I believe I have more potential to be a better person. We always question ourselves because we hope that there’s better. And let me say that “better” doesn’t necessarily mean find another partner or person to replace those currently in your life, it’s about time, commitment, communication, growth, and most importantly unconditional love. That is how the nation get stronger, the community gets stronger, the family get stronger, and most importantly, how the soul heals. I am regenerating myself to become a stronger being. So please bear with me in my struggle because I am here with you in yours. I love you all. Cheers!

Day 4: Taking Care of Each Other

We started off the morning with a hot shower together. We didn’t shower for two days because the shower was small and seemed shitty. Luckily, we found a shower on the flight of stairs less taken and it was perfect size for us to be in. There really is something about water that makes us feel better. It’s healing. It’s soothing our souls and washing all the dirt of everyday life. The shower set a good pace for the rest of the day.

We packed our things while chatting with Eric and Regan online for a little. It’s good to update on the goodness of other people’s lives while we’re here too so please update! We went to a Café Restaurant for breakfast. It’s like 9:30 in the morning and Calvin’s having Lasagna; I’m having Chicken Kebab. Kebabs are like gyros, slow roasted meat in a pita. It’s affordable and filling! Definitely made us feel good after our tummies were finally filled with real food.

We headed out toward Brighton! We took the underground to London Bridge to take the National Rail there because the Rail doesn’t run through King’s Cross on weekends. It was expensive! 20 pounds per person which is $40/person for an hour train ride. It was nice though! My first train ride and we got to play a good game of Egyptian Rat Screw (I won) and we a couple of magic tricks later, we were in Brighton!

It’s around 1PM now and we are walking towards the Atlantic Ocean. Brighton’s in Southeast England. It was reminiscent of San Francisco because there was all this gay and lesbian pride and special needs information all over! At the Royal Pavillion, there were street festivals everywhere and music and elephant shaped hedges! A definite good time waiting to happen, but we needed a place to stay!

We searched for a place for 3 hours straight, walking to the seaside, stopping at every house and hotel looking for vacancy and most were booked, others were far too expensive. Calvin wanted to be baller status and drop 100 pounds on just one night, but being the oh-hell-no-unsatisfied Diana, we continued walking up and down hills. The Brighton pier was like Laguna Beach meets San Francisco Castro, SF’s Haight Street, and Newport Beach all splattered together. This was the ideal Norcal meets Socal. If it weren’t for the weather in the Winter, I’d probably want to live here.

In the greatest times of doubt, we must have hope. Calvin called a hotel on Oriental Place. They had one more room left. While he was inside inquiring, I waited outside, mapping out our next route. We headed towards Oriental place. Think about this irony: the only two Asian American people on this island forced to stay on Oriental place! FUCKING COME ON, LIFE!!! But there truly was a reason we were being pushed this direction.

Anyhow, Calvin and I were walking with our entire luggage (9 months worth) in the blazing sun, hungry, dehydrated trick or treating for accommodation. We went back to the visitor center back inland, truly believing that we can still get affordable housing! Honestly, this is very unlikely because it was so late in the afternoon and there were so many weddings and events happening this weekend. On the positive, Calvin and I decided that in a war-ridden time, he and I could count on each other to carry each other’s children on our backs for hours. Dependability is important to us because our families had to escape times of war carrying everything they needed on their backs. Some didn’t make it then because of exhaustion. Survival is endurance.

And we endured like cacti! We passed Oriental place at first because there were chain hotels that seemed promising, but they were disappointing. We headed back to Oriental place and we see this backpackers’ hotel, Baggies, and I inquired within. Val, a grey-haired woman with a kind voice told me she’s out of space. I stayed positive, saying my thank yous, even though I was so exhausted. Then she told me she actually had open spaces for 12 pounds for both of us. I was thrilled! Something felt right. I told Calvin, who was ready to fucking snap!

He went to go ask some other hotels up the street while I waited outside for him. We had a system: one would stay with the bags while the other left to ask. Otherwise, we were with each other 24 hours a day. Val insisted that I came in for tea, put my luggage in the living room, or get some water. I wanted to stay so badly once I got into the house. Calvin came back pissed but Val’s voice helped calm him down. 12 pounds for the both of us, and she let us use her office to sleep.

The three hour excursion was well worth it because Val made us feel so comfortable and welcome. We felt welcome in her home, decorated by the postcards, drawings, and memorabilia of past backpackers. She told us about a fish and chips place called Bankers that was outstanding! By far the best fish and chips in the entire world! Everyone said the food in England was shit, but honestly, it’s the local food that tastes delicious, not the over-priced tourist spots. We had haddock and large cod. They had all kinds of fish, swordfish, salmon, tuna, skate, etc. Tres magnifique! I had two shots of southern comfort with cola and calvin had a Budweiser (calvin speaking: I drank her two shots for her). Get this. One of the side dishes was mushy peas. Hahaha I have no idea why that sounds appetizing at all.

The revelation about the day. Day 4 was a test. A test about us. Calvin and I take care of each other, just like the people in this house, just like the community in Brighton. We learn from each other, and push each other, and guide each other, just like the above. It’s important for the world to take care of each other and be open to each other so that we can all survive. This house has people from Mexico, Germany, the States, and all over the world. We come together, harmonious, united in respect and love, and we’re taking care of each other. I’m happy that I’m here with Calvin, someone who’s been taking care of me since I met him, especially more this summer and these past few days. I am also happy to be around so much beauty, under the same moon and stars and sun with you all. There truly are great and good people in this world who care and want to take care of others as long as we stay open and endure the most trying to times. Believe me, the wait is well worth it. The love that comes at you tastes, feels, smells, looks, and sounds so damn good. Cheers!

Day 3: Something about us

We stayed another night at the goodwood on tavistock. After a small argument, we went to the store so I could make some lunch for the long day ahead. I was ready for a great eventful day! We headed towards the waterloo station in search for the LONDON AQUARIUM! And it was a magnificent day, the sky was clear blue and we were confident about navigating through the city!

We tried doing this 2 for 1 deal that was being offered but it didn’t work out so we stuck it out with the underground, and again, thank gosh for the oyster card! It sure helps cut the wait time in the queues (lines).

After walking out of the waterloo station, we had to regain our grounds. Luckily we were loaded with our handy-dandy maps and calvin is a natural navigator. I insisted it was that way. He said, “It’s that way!” pointing in the opposite direction. “How do you know?!” I whined. “Because of the sun!” he answered confidently! Hahaha I laugh at how knowledgeable he is about the east and west. I mess that stuff up every time, relying on electronic navigation systems; however, I get lost with all those buttons. I admire people who are good at things that I’m not good at because after spending time with them, I learn immensely from them.

We walked passed these theaters and there was a fountain that I got stuck it. I’m sure it was in a movie, but it was a window-shaped fountain and some of the sections wouldn’t spray up so I walked right into the middle of it, and waddyaknow, I got stuck in the middle of a fucking fountain! It was funny and a tourist took a picture of me. Note to tourist: tag me in that on facebook please! Hahaha. We passed a bridge and saw a statue of nelson mendela. The quote underneath read: “my life is my struggle.” I agree, indeed.

We got a little bumbled again and I asked a security officer for some help. His name was Nelson (the irony of it all!). He walked us toward the London eye, and in the direction of the Aquarium. The London eye looks like a giant Ferris wheel except there are no booths that you sit in, you stand in these rooms and you can see all of London. It was enormous!!! I didn’t get on it though because I get trembly on Ferris wheels so this was a no-go. But! Before that, along the sidewalk were some street performers just like those in San Francisco. They require a little tip and they start moving and dancing! There was a wizard, a headless man, a Mickey mouse, a bicycling iguana, and a copper man with long arms.

We got into the aquarium and at first, it was dark and the fish weren’t exciing at all, but when we got to the pacific ocean zone, we were wowed. The brown sharks, and manta rays were huge! There was also a zebra shark and nurse shark that were being petted by some scuba divers searching for teeth. It is interesting watching animals enjoying the same type of attention as our domestic pets. Calvin and I caught on to the end of a feeding tour. We got to se some archer fish spit for their food. We also caught some red-tailed catfish from the Amazon eating their fruits and nuts. They also had an Arrohana that was worth a quarter million pounds which is half a million USD. The reason why they are also known as Chinese monkey fish is because they would jump out of the water and knock a monkey out of the trees, drown it, and eat it. They also had a fish that was privately owned; its owner fed it chocolate biscuits and strawberries.

After the aquarium we had a nice lunch in the sun, we walked across the waterloo bridge and saw Big Ben! It was fenced off and guarded with a man with a gun. That was the first time we saw any of the police officers armed with a gun. Quite contrary the US where every cop is armed with a gun.

After that we decided not to go to Dali Universe and we wanted to go to a sex museum. We walked forever, and stopped at the National Gallery. The admission was free so we figured why not. A great thing about London is that admission is free at certain places like museums. Our feet hurt so much! We spent a few hours looking at paintings from the 1500-1600s. There were a lot of biblical paintings, but the colors were beautiful. My favorite style was oil on poplar, and my favorite painting was The Birth of the Milky Way. I wanted to quit walking but we had a goal, Amora.

We pretty much went from one end of London to the other, on foot! It was bloody awful! I wanted to die and give up. I was tired and hungry and upset, unsatisfied. Calvin and I found it in the Trocadero, but it was closed. I wasn’t mad at all, we just took the Picadilly Circus station back to Russell’s Square so we could sleep!

And sleep we did! We slept until midnight, which is like 4 in the afternoon in the US. Calvin and I laid there, silent. He felt very lost and I listened to his breathing. We held each other, comfortable in every position we moved. “There’s Something About Us” was playing in both our heads. And I must say that there truly is, especially when we can tangle ourselves, intertwine our limbs and still find comfort in each other’s warmth. And we did this for hours, until we faded in and out of sleep, until we started talking about our insecurities, until we were hungry, until we had sex, until we got over it, until we curled together again. And that’s us. A perfect day.

moaning

i talk in moans
because i know you hear me.

you see the lights
swirling around my tits,
hips, and thighs
as i dance in the center
of the dancefloor.

i talk in moans
because i know you hear me,

and you can see them all watching,
scared that i will walk away with
another,
brother,

but i talk in moans
because i only want you to hear me;

in the comfort of our bed
as i strip your jeans down to your legs
and spread mine
so you can see me
hear me
moan
until you hear me
wanting only you.

England 101

Hey all!

I'm in England now. I'm here with Calvin; he's sending me off for the week. I'm going to journal my adventures. So...after getting on the bus from the Heathrow, we ended up in southeast England. We walked around trying to find a place to stay. The first place was Collins House. It was on Ebury street and quite lovely actually. It had free internet and was 50 pounds for one night with free internet access.

I definitely bawled after eating lunch. Note to self: Barbeque sauce in England tastes a lot different than in the US. The toilets are round in shape and the fast food here is delicious. In fact, i think it's rather healthy here. Nothing is really mass produced or steroid injected. Granted America is about comfort. When I saw the toilets and the showers, I questioned why I left America in the first place, but it's easy to adjust and get accustomed. I don't even use lotion here and my hands are still soft! I was definitely spoiled in America, I mean everything's so fucking cheap and the portions are enormous for what we pay for. But I guess that's why England is about portion control and money conservation.

We were looking for a pub forever and The Shakespeare was fucking shady. The bartender wouldn't even fucking answer our questions. Racial discrimination maybe? Who knows. We got to another bar though. The Duke of York. A couple of drinks in and we were good to fucking go. Buzzin' and ready to get going. We went to Sainsbury Local, which is like a Safeway and the people were really nice. We wanted to buy alcohol, but I guess you can't buy alcohol from the store after 11 PM in England. Minorities seemed to be the nicest people thus far here. Maybe because we're all in the same boat. Calvin definitely taught me that the first day when you arrive is made for resting up and getting your grounding. I was really frantic y'know trying to find accommodation and my way around, but I just need to toughen myself up and embrace the culture and people. So I ate my fucking burger and we took a long ass nap due to jetlag.

I'm so grateful that Calvin's here with me. I know I can handle my own, but seeing him maneuver through the city and navigate the trams, etc. shows me an entirely different side of him. He's been independent since an early age and it's friggin admirable. I thought I was independent, but no one truly knows independence until you're in another world. However, he definitely needs me in his life because I have all the inside scoops on cheap tickets and deals so that we're not blowing all our money on ridonculous shiiiiez.

Day 2:
We woke up hella early like 5 Am early. We were starving because we didn't want to blow our money on food. We're starving. Please donate to the Dphuong-is-broke-as-shit-and-wants-to-eat fund. Anyone who knows me, knows that big girl gotta eat and how am I supposed to maintain this thick body without sustenance? hahaha just kidding but not really.

The bathrooms here are ridiculous too. In the females restrooms, the mirrors definitely elongate your figure, making you look a lot thinner than you truly are. I think psychologically, it boosts your confidence. America's so fucking depressed because of weight problems and etc, but I think it's partly the fact that we seek comfort in food. Here, on the other hand, because food is expensive, we eat to fuckin' survive. Like if it's necessary to eat and our stomachs are about prune shaped will we eat.

What else? Everything else! We made it to Picadilly Circushttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piccadilly_Circus. It was definitely a good idea to a smaller part of England to get used to things rather than jumping right into the city because it can be so overwhelming. I finally got my traveler's cheques changed to british pounds. So legit. Make sure you find money exchange places that don't take commission that shit will pwn you!

Oh! Also, try to go to the supermarket because they have deals that will help with eating out. We got some chocolate croissants for pence and it helped sustain us or breakfast.


It's beautiful here. The weather is reminiscent of the bay area and it's not too cold. If I start to type with a British accent just ignore it. I swear my vocabulary will skyrocket! Anyway, if you do come to the UK definitely get an oyster cardhttp://www.tfl.gov.uk/tickets/oysteronline/2732.aspx. It's well worth it! The inside fucking scoop on public transportation. The trains and coaches here are just like BART. So legit yeah. Like everything is so close and takes very little time to get around England.

Calvin and I are near King's Cross. We went to The Rocket, a student oriented bar that had cheap drinks and good music.

I think the most beautiful thing I've seen in England is definitely the interacial couples. I've seen British African males with Blondle, blue-eyed women, which would be so taboo in America, yet here's it's readily accepted. No one judges the whiteand black but the asian community is definitely a siter fore sore eyes. I swear people think we're FOBS. And I know that term is very controversial, but shit! We are truly a rare gem in this country! It's nice getting all the attention I s'pose, but man oh man, it's a tad bit uncomfortable at times knowing that people are starin at you.

The Chinese community center here was no help either. It was for people who didn't know how to speak English and could only speak Chinese. I wish it were more inclusive. I want to start an Asian-American center here so Asian-Americans won't feel so excluded.

Anyhow, I'm in the Goodwood Hotel here on Tavistock Place. We were originally going to stay at a hostel, The Generator, but fuck that shit. It was kinda creepy and you can getter better deals talking to the manager of hotels nearby. We are staying in a double basic (basic means without a bathroom in your room and en-suite means your private bathroom) for 20 pounds each person, with breakfast and fucking wifi. Legit? YES!

I miss the states but being away is necessary for my growth, for my independence, and my humbleness to home. We always take America for granted. For a long time I hated being American, and granted, there's a lot of shit wrong with America, but it's a beautiful place to be. No, I'm not becoming more patriotic, but I brought my pocket-sized Declaration of Independence (a handy gift from Vice Chancellor Gomez) and I think I finally understand what our forefathers meant.

I'm still under the same moon, stars, and sun. You ar all in my thoughts and we will meet again at a different point in our lives. I truly love being and I hope you all find that person who can spark that. Mine is sleeping next to me right now. I'm going to go spoon him. Hahaha cheeeeeesy but true! Bye darlings! Until my next adventure!