The Bay is Where the Home Is

I live for sunsets. And no sunset could beat the sunsets I've seen in the past three days.

I am currently at home. Home home. Calvin left on Saturday and I decided to buy a ticket to come home to surprise my family and him and I have truly surprised my self.

Sunday, the day before my flight I went to Brighton with Kelly to get my bus ticket so that I could make it to the airport and book my taxi so I could make it to the bus station. We went down to the water after eating some much needed Chinese food at China China (our food spot).

I will try to paint this picture. Imagine heavy, thick grey clouds covering the horizon and stretching up above your head. These coulds were thick, dark, rainy looking. Got it? Okay. Point your gaze to the horizon, and imagine this tiny gap in the cloubs. A box in the clouds. Fill that box with red. That's the sun. Okay. Now to make it even more awesome, please imagine a strip of red sky just above that horizon and stretching towards your right like a light tower. This sunset was crazy! I mean, I've never seen this type of red in a sunset ever! The sun was guiding a path through the grey. Literally. And if you can't imagine it, it's okay I have a picture, but it cannot compare to the experience!

It gets better. Now turn your head toward the east and the sky is filled with 5 different types of clouds, all different colors. The sky had light, silky pink clouds, the sky was lilac purple (!) and barely layered with dark thin clouds, poofy white clouds, and barely-there-smokey grey clouds. And in this lifetime where there is a big need for change, I felt the biggest change in me. I could've died happy.

But why die happy when you can die happier? I shall continue.

Flying here was probably the best decision I could make because the views from the sky really did make me believe that the world was spherical and there is still hope in the sphere! It was a day flight so I was literally chasing the Sun, where the home is. The best part was flying into the Bay. I usually fly into Oakland and not SFO, and the views are vastly different. I saw waves breaking, I saw houseboats, I saw mountains, and most importantly, I felt home.

After Barting back to the Plaza, it was pouring rain. I called my moma via payphone and this is how the conversation went:

"Hi! It's Bao," I said.
"Hey! How are you How do you feel?"
"Good. Good."
"Good!"
"Hey mom, can you pick me up from the Bart station?"
"Huh? When are you coming back?"
"I'm here."

And like a surprise pregnancy, she conceived the possibility of truth, that her daughter was home. Moma was on her way.

I called Calvin. This is how the conversation went:

"Hey!" I said.
"Where are you?!"
"At the Bart station."
"I KNEW IT!"
"How'd you know?"
"Well becka sent me a text this morning."
"What? I told her not to tell you."
"No, crazy thing is that I had a dream last night that you came, and when I woke up I was bummed that you weren't here, then I got a text from your sister asking if I knew if you were coming home."

Our subconscious lives in the future. And I got home and Calvin came over and I couldn't stop smiling. Yeah, I haven't stopped smiling. He and I caught sunset on Moeser. The rain clouds had completely been swept towards the East and there was clear pink, orange, azul sky over the Golden Gate. And the moon was hanging out, bright, waiting for its turn to shine.

Today I woke up with Calvin at 5 AM, made breakfast because I didn't realize that it was 5Am even after Calvin just told me, and we grubbed on mama's meat, oatmeal, coffee, vegetables, and Domino's pizza. Hahaha.

I ran errands for the family lending that extra hand to help make their lives a little bit freer. My gramma made some bomb steamed fish. I slept on the couch with Nemo and woke up and read two books.

My family came home and it was loud because were talking about the elections, which is the way I like it. Loud and political!

And whence Jude came home she watched Nemo and I took a walk with Mia. Mia and I walked in silence and I spent my time looking at all these new and familiar places. We walked down to my old house, past the new city hall, past the old apartments where my aunt used to live, toward Castro. Usually I take a new path with Mia, letting her guide me whichever which way her nose, dog sense (scents) desires. Mia and Dia, the true walking society.

I saw the sunset looking sky and made the decision to turn around, finally guiding my dog. we went home to watch the sunset. I stood at the edge of my backyard, and she stood by my side. I had never seen the sunset from my backyard. From my backyard I can see the Albany Hill, Oakland, Emeryville, The Golden Gate Bridge a little right of center, and out to Marin on my far right. The sky, I know I've said "sky" double digit times in this blog, but bear with me. The sky was like looking at a lover you haven't seen in a long time, like looking at the smiling face of your best friend after being apart, like seeing your favorite movie and knowing it line for line, like hearing the cheesiest love song from middle school, like....cumming and laughing afterward because it was mafuggin' good. There was traffic on the 80, the lights of the buildings, white, reds, oranges, the sound of sirens and horns honking on the bay bridge, the Baskin Robbins Rainbow Sherbert sky and Mia gazing up at me.

I cried like redemption in hallelujah. I bent down to rub Mia, tears streaming down my eyes. We were silent, but she put her paws to my face, the way that I rub my hands on her face, and we understood.

I'm withdrawing from Sussex. I want to come home to California in December. Not because I am not fully taking advantage of the experience abroad, but I am fully taking advantage of the experience of wisdom, imagination, my truth, spiritual freedom and unconditional love. I feel deep down in my heart that I want to die at my happiest, and I can't be happiest unless I am sharing my experiences with the ones I love the most. I live for sunsets, I live for the end. The end.