Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Karma Locking Me Out

Man I just locked myself out of my apartment!

The story: I woke up and decided to do some reading and after reaching some profound thoughts, I decided to meditate on it by brushing my teeth. I looked at the screen door leading to the balcony and nervously thought that the winds were changing, seeing the leaves in the trees sway.

As i was brushing my teeth, I wondered what the weather was outside, so instead of going onto my balcony, i walked to the front door and looked down my steps to see it was sunny. just as i was embracing the warmth of the sun, the door slammed. Shit! I checked the knob and it was locked! Damnit! I sat on the steps and looked around, still brushing my teeth, trying to act all calm cool and collected. FUCK!

"I am lunch with Bash at 2:30. I have no idea what time Calvin is coming to pick up the last of his furniture! Usher's Confession's album is going to play fully through before I even get inside! AH!"

All these thoughts kept running through my mind. Calvin was going to come an pick up his stuff so maybe I'll just wait for him to open the door. Div comes home at 5. I'll miss Bash's call and just tell her I got locked out." NO! I did not want to at least try to get in!

I looked for openings--my balcony screen door was wide open and my bedroom window was always kept open. I thought about climbing up the wooden pole to get to my balcony but who am i kidding i can't slink up a pole!!!??! I'd be like Russell from Up trying to climb up the water hose.

So I went walking around my neighborhood, barefoot, to see if any neighbors were home and maybe I could possibly borrow a ladder. Luckily the house to across the street to my left had their garage door open and I saw inside a stepping stool! I went to the front door and asked the man working changing the locks if he'd happen to have a ladder I could borrow because I got locked out of my house. He flat out said no and I awkwardly said thanks and walked back home. Saddened by this white man's unwillingness to help even though I knew he had a ladder-type thing, defeated me! I sat on the steps and agreed with my rationalizations from earlier before. "I guess I'll just wait for Calvin. This is wht I really wanted any way. This is karma!"

Only when there is recognition of karma will she let you out of her wrath! So I looked at the opening of my bedroom window. There are two ledges. The first floor's and then a fence-type ledge under mine. It's the kind where you can pot plants on the sill so there's some space. I was worried the wood would break under my weight! Luckily it was strong! I climbed atop the first floor's ledge, hoping to gosh the neighbor's weren't home and going to pop through the blinds to see my bra-less tits hanging in full view! Unfortunately I am a little too short to fully get my self up to the second ledge! I tried to pull myself, thinking about rock climbing, but again, who am i kidding?!?! I have no upper arm strength!

I walked around again, hoping to find a neighbor. Across the street to my right was another neighbor sitting in his garage. He was about my age on the phone, and he hung up when I approached. I told him I got locked out and wondered if he had a ladder or a stepping stool. He said he didn't have a ladder but found a stepping stool! Perfect! I was so grateful! He even carried it to my apartment!!

So I told him my plan and I set up the stool on the first ledge and jumped over the bush to get on it, climbed up it's two steps, and pulled myself to the bottom of the fencing of the second ledge. I climed onto this 1 inch wood and inched my toes from one gap to another gap until I could open my window screen, and pull my body up onto the ledge and into the window. The entire time he was walking with me on the grass, spotting me just in case I fell! I'm sure anyone would do that but it was great to achieve something I thought was impossible and seeing someone there supporting me!

I jumped through my window and unlocked my door and said my thank yous and laughed at life and myself!

Man, karma you got me locked out!

2 comments:

  1. some people are just rude!-- and some are really rather helpful :] hahah this was fun to read, you ninja you.

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