Focus of Positive Believing

Today I woke up with the dark and light clouds shadowing from above. I caught a glimpse of the sun and thought, "Alright, there's some sun. Not too bad." To my surprise, As I peered out through my other window to scan the whole of Irvine and whether they were covered in the gloom, I saw a rainbow!

Then I thought to myself,"Okay. If it's this gloomy but there is a small patch of sun and a rainbow at 8 in the morning, then it is for sure going to be a good day!"

The reason why I was up so early was because I was trying to edit my paper to turn in before 11. I jumped on my laptop to see the 7 pages I left safely on it from the night before. I don't know what happened. Sadly, I couldn't find six of those pages and wound up with the first page which was pretty much the prompt.

I felt a dilemma because normally, I would whine and howl and be utterly discouraged from starting all over and fallen into the pits of despair. However, I could not let the disappearance of my paper get me down because I believed it was going to be a great ass day! So I focused all my energy into cranking out 8 pages in an hour and half! And voila! A final paper!

Focus, getting straight to the point--Concise. This is what I needed and wanted to be in every aspect of my life.

I hung out with Doris at Reggaefest. I bought a new pair of peace earrings for a bargained down price of $5 and a new pair of red-rimmed sunglasses for $5. After Doris left, Calvin and I ate stoner fries and a hot dog from the Pub, went back to my apartment and talked about our relationship (because I broke up with him last weekend), hugged, packed, and I was off to a new CCC interns meeting. I had to leave to facilitate Cross the Line for first-year SPOP Staffers. Staffers from the last training also came back to do it again for more practice! I felt so proud of them!

Satisfied. Efficient. Content.

Calvin surprised me by already being in the parking lot before I even got out of my training so it was great because I expected to wait for him. He was meeting me one step ahead. Perfect way of showing me his love. Got in, headed out to Long Beach so I could fly out to Oakland.

Got to Long Beach but I was early so Calvin and I went to Mickey D's and ordered our faves: 2 caramel sundaes (I get all the nuts), 2 apple pies, 10 pc. chicken nuggets, french fries, and (not normally) a soda. We ate and smiled and laughed. He asked me out on a date to Catalina Island to celebrate the end of the year. I said yes!

Then he dropped me off at the airport at 7PM. I literally got through bag drop and security by 7:02. I called Calvin and we talked about therapy and how we're both in the process of healing and seeking help. At first we felt ashamed, but now we are so confident and recommend it! It's great to connect with him emotionally about the process of healing which is something different than the emotional connection I have with my best friend. My gbf connects with my sexual past and my bf connects with my present and future healing. It's a beautiful thing to finally be connected to Calvin.

It's a full moon and I got my period. It's a cleansing cycle. Shedding the old self, becoming the new.


Anyway, now I'm home and my parents gave me a jade Buddha for strength, my mom gave me advice and meditation tips, my dad cut and porcupined Manila mangoes for me (though they were from Mexico), and I get to sit in the silence of my house and write.


I mean...can life get any better than this?